How Do I Stop My Managers Bringing Every Problem to Me?

Stop catching the problem ball

I use the image of a problem ball with my coaching clients. Someone brings you a problem and throws the ball towards you. You catch it. From that moment, you're carrying it.

They no longer have to stay with the problem. They don't have to think particularly hard about what to do next. They don't have to wrestle with the uncertainty. You've got the ball now.

Do that often enough and eventually you become the person sitting in the middle of the business surrounded by everybody else's problem balls, wondering why nobody else seems capable of carrying anything.

The uncomfortable question is:

Are you developing your managers — or rescuing them?

Those two things can look remarkably similar in the moment.

Why good leaders become rescuers

Most leaders don't do this because they're controlling or because they don't trust anyone. Often they do it because they're good at what they do. You're experienced. You're conscientious. You can see what could go wrong. You're probably a little impatient.

And, let's face it, you probably can sort the bloody thing out faster. So you do. The customer gets an answer. The immediate problem disappears. Everybody feels relieved. And you feel useful. But the fastest way to solve today's problem can create tomorrow's dependency. You solve it.

They feel relieved. Nothing gets stronger. Nobody learns very much. And when the next similar problem appears, where does it go? Straight back to you. That's not building management capability.

That's building a very efficient system for getting every problem in the organisation to the person at the top.

Supporting someone is not the same as rescuing them

There is an important distinction between supporting somebody and rescuing them.

Supporting sounds like:

• What do you think is really going on?
• What have you noticed?
• What evidence have you gathered?
• What have you already tried?
• What options are you considering?
• What are the risks?
• What do you recommend?
• What are you going to do?
• By when?

You may still coach them. You may challenge an assumption. You may point out a risk they haven't seen. You may add experience they don't yet have. You may put some sensible guardrails around their decision. But the problem still belongs to them. They're still thinking. They're still deciding. They're still learning.

Rescuing sounds rather different:

"Oh, just give it to me. I'll sort it out."

And there goes another opportunity to develop a manager.

Ask for their thinking, not just their problem

There is a world of difference between somebody arriving and saying:

"We've got a problem."

and somebody saying:

"Here's what I've noticed. Here's what I think is happening. Here's the evidence. I've thought about a few options, and this is what I recommend."

That is the shift I want leaders to develop in the people beneath them. So when somebody arrives with a problem, resist the temptation to immediately provide the answer.

Ask:

"What do you think?"

It is one of the simplest leadership-development questions available to you. Then keep going. What have you tried? What are your options? What happens if you do A rather than B? What's the risk? What do you recommend? You're not refusing to help. You're helping them think. That is quite different.

The slower conversation may be the faster management strategy

Initially, this approach can feel painfully slow. You know the answer. You could probably settle the matter in thirty seconds. Instead, you're asking questions and waiting while somebody else thinks. It may take ten minutes. But speed isn't the only measure of good management.

Sometimes the slower conversation develops a manager who can solve the next ten problems without you. That's a very different return on ten minutes.

I sometimes describe this as:

Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.

The easy choice today is to grab the problem ball and solve it yourself. The harder choice is to stop, ask questions and let somebody else wrestle with the uncertainty. That can feel slower today. But as they become increasingly capable, your life becomes easier.

Be careful about becoming the court of appeal

There is another way leaders accidentally weaken their managers. An employee doesn't like their manager's answer, so they go higher. A customer doesn't like an answer, so they demand to speak to the boss. And the senior person casually overturns the original decision. Everybody learns something.

The employee learns:

If I don't like my manager's answer, I can appeal.

The customer learns:

If I make enough noise, I can go higher.

The manager learns:

I'm not really in charge of my own role.

And you become the real decision-maker for yet another layer of the organisation. Sometimes a manager's decision genuinely does need overturning. But don't become the automatic court of appeal. If a manager needs coaching, coach them. If their judgement needs developing, develop it. Don't casually remove their authority and then complain that they aren't taking enough ownership.

Who leaves the conversation carrying the problem ball?

This is the part leaders often miss. You can have a fantastic coaching conversation. You ask good questions. The manager thinks. You discuss the options.

And then, right at the end, you say:

"Leave it with me."

There it is. The rescue. Beautifully wrapped inside a coaching conversation.

So at the end of every problem-solving discussion, ask yourself:

Who now owns the next action?

The manager should leave carrying the problem ball. Not you.

When should you step in?

None of this means leadership abandonment. There are absolutely times when a senior leader should intervene. A serious safety issue. A legal or ethical risk. Something genuinely outside the person's authority. A crisis where delay could cause significant harm.

Or a very new manager facing something they've genuinely never encountered before. Step in when you need to. But don't waste the learning opportunity.

Afterwards, ask:

• What did you notice?
• What did you learn?
• What would you do next time?
• What knowledge or authority was missing?
• What part of this can you own from now on?

The objective isn't merely to survive the incident. It is to increase their capability for the next one.

Being needed isn't the same as leading well

There is another uncomfortable truth in all of this. Being the white knight can feel rather good. You're the one with the answer. You're the one who knows the history. You're the one who can calm the customer down. You're the one everybody calls. People are grateful. You feel important.

But being needed is not the same as leading or managing well. And being indispensable isn't necessarily evidence of how valuable you've made yourself. Sometimes it's evidence that you haven't built enough capability around you.

Build shoulders underneath you

I talk with clients about building shoulders. If you're the head, you need strong shoulders underneath you. Managers who can carry more. Managers who can think. Managers who can decide. Managers who follow through. Managers who don't need to throw every problem upwards.

And you cannot build somebody's shoulders while repeatedly taking the weight back off them. The measure of a strong leader isn't simply how many problems they can solve. It is also how many people around them can now solve problems that once needed the leader. That's leadership development.